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  • Writer's pictureJulie Lundy

Flipping The Script On Mom Groups

Updated: Apr 29, 2019

Over the past 4 years, at least one person in my girl gang has been pregnant. Those of us with kids, officially outnumber those without and planning a girls-night requires more logistics than a visit to the OBGYN. However, as the number of babies grows, so does the importance of girls-night. When we get together we laugh, eat, drink wine and usually someone cries.

For me, without a regular girls-night, I wouldn’t survive the many monotonous nights of cook, feed, clean, play, bathe, read, clean, rinse, and repeat. Not all of us, are so lucky to have found a girl gang at this stage in our lives. But as change becomes a constant in our lives, the distance from our family remains, and our steady stream of pseudo-connection online persists - girls-night is more important than ever. Susan Pinker, psychologist and TED speaker, says though we’re more connected than ever, the health benefits of social connection, only activate when it happens in-person. Moreover, community, tight bonds of friendship, and frequent face-to-face interaction can make you live longer.

To address this need, you can find prenatal workouts for the 2nd and 3rd trimester mom; birth classes for the hypno-birthing, lamaze breathing, yoga birthing mom, and postpartum mommy & baby classes for hormonal, sleep-deprived, mothers-of-newborns. But something falls short for women here, as women in the same stage can attest, we’re like the blind leading the blind. In each of these stages a class may offer education, connection, or physical or emotional support. However, as long as the women in attendance are in the same stage of motherhood, you can’t do all three!

We put this theory to the test at The Maternity Planner’s recent event. We brought together 12 women, in various stages of early motherhood, with a guided conversation and an intentional purpose. In just 2 hours we connected women, celebrated our triumphs, and shared our journeys, leaving each woman feeling good about where they are. It was so unique to witness women in various stages connecting on similar fears, successes, passions, and goals.

We set two ground rules:

  1. No judgment: Each woman has a different life, child, body, and goals for motherhood

  2. Be an active listener: Don’t listen by way of waiting to respond. Don’t let people feel like they are talking into an empty room. When you hear something you relate to say: “Wow, I completely understand” or add, “That must have been tough,” “I’m so impressed” or “good job!”

By the end of the night, women were exchanging numbers, making plans to meet up, and sharing ideas on how we can share this feeling of warmth, support, and encouragement for more women. Check out some pictures of our awesome night below!

As we move forward, I’d love to hear: do you need to reinvigorate the conversations in your girl gang and want me to help you make that happen? Are you in need of the support and connection you can receive in a multi-stage mom group? How else do you connect with other moms in real life!

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